The Front Page

Two in a row? What's this?! It's the monthly news post describing all the fun happenstances at Couch Athletics. Now on the front page! We'll have talk of events long and short and what's changing around the community. Briefly: lots of positive TF2 server changes, Best in Dress, and people playing lots of different games. First up is our new big initiative...
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DotA is assumed to be a very active game. "If you want to win, you should always be doing something." It doesn’t take long for a new player to realize that simply sitting in the fountain, looking over the vast list of items, and trying to figure out what to buy is, in itself, a disadvantage. Wasting time looking at items is time that could be spent pushing a tower, keeping up in experience, or procuring gold for future items. There are, however, times when the best decision is to do nothing, or to be fair, almost nothing.
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Within the world of gaming, one of the most popular topics, if not the most popular, is that of war. Whether it’s first person or third person, squad based or one man army, war games seem to dominate many a gamer’s library. I’m going to touch on only a fraction of the many games I could talk about, these being Counter-Strike: Source, Red Orchestra 2, and Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3. As I mentioned, these are all war games that have (at least) a vague semblance of war in the real world. To say they do not properly replicate the horror of war and instead, glorify it, would be an understatement and not suit the purpose of this article. Instead, I am going to express how distinctly masculine they are.

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Other things came out May 15th, not just Diablo III. Things like Serious Sam HD: The Second Encounter: Legend of the Beast and the long awaited Tenacious D album Rize of The Fenix. Me being me, however, I got all three of those.
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At this point in time I would like to congratulate Valve Softworks. And no, I don’t mean that in a sarcastic way. And no, I don’t mean to congratulate them for creating the vast Mannconomy that has brought them much more money than they probably needed. No, I am going to congratulate them for something more legitimate, and for something that most gamers (hardcore or otherwise) probably don’t think of very often. I am congratulating Valve for promoting gender equality in their games. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, then please read on. ...

Said HAWP mods include replacing the phrase "bid farewell, cruel world!" with "murderbated!", replacing the class pictures in the HUD with pictures of Ash as the classes, and replacing the Administrator with Papa Burch.

(Now with fixed eye colors!)
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