7th's Dementia: Celestiadammit, EA.

SO. EA just signed a deal with Katy Perry to promote The Sims 3, starting with the latest expansion pack Showtime. In fact, they created a special collector's edition that adds her into the game. And I'm thinking to myself, wondering, “WHY?! What the fuck kind of sales is The Sims 3 having? Are they in the shitter?”

Okay, I've been listening to George Carlin's Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics a lot recently, but did they learn nothing from the Sims 2 Pets fiasco with Hilary Duff? Oh right, they thought it was a good thing. To be perfectly honest, the only good thing I can think of related to Katy Perry is the My Little Pony parody of California Girls, Equestria Girls, because it's actually quite silly. I don't usually listen to today's pop music; I prefer rock music and shit from the 80's because it's, ya know, actually good.

Back to my point. I've been playing The Sims since it first came out. Back in 1999. The only time that a celebrity appearance in the game made sense was when Drew Carey showed up in The Sims House Party. Only time. Why? Because he comes when your Sim is throwing a really great party. It helped that he actually enjoyed the game and put it into one of the April Fools episodes of The Drew Carey Show. His appearance made sense. Granted, the Katy Perry one does too. A little. She's not a playable character, she's an NPC... at least, that's what I remember from what I read.

The Hilary Duff “appearance” was more of an extreme cop-out. You had to download the parts to make her, and then make her a Sim, voiced by the NORMAL SIM VOICE. At least the Drew Carey and Katy Perry ones have the actual person voicing their Sim counterpart. The biggest thing against the Hilary Duff thing is that PC Gamer actually had an article in their December 2006 issue (and I know it's that one because I actually looked through my back issues) where the then-editor-in-chief, Greg Vederman actually interviewed her on it. One of the reasons I'm glad Logan Decker is the current EIC. That, and when Vederman took over, they “redesigned” the magazine into a clustershart.

Anyway, back on my tirade. I'm not happy about it because I see it as selling to people by using well-known celebrities as the face of the game, where they should be putting the focus on the goddamn gameplay! If you want a celebrity in your game as a character, fine, you can do that. Stephen Merchant as Wheatley, Patrick Stewart in Oblivion (yes, I did play THAT far), Liam Neeson in Fallout 3, and the celebrities in Saints Row: The Third (yes, including Sasha Grey) work because their characters aren't being shoved in your face, they're actually part of the fucking story. Hell, I want Denis Leary to be in a video game; I think that would be cool! It's just when the celebrity appearance comes the fuck outta nowhere that makes me pissed off, and that's what the Katy Perry appearance is to me. Prove me wrong, EA. Prove me wrong.

On a side note, I actually think it's kinda cool that Freddie Prinze Jr.'s in Mass Effect 3. Like with the previous examples listed, he's playing a character who's part of the story. Let's just hope it's not like the Wing Commander movie where they should've used Mark Hamill and Tom Wilson instead of him and Matthew Lillard.